When will they get matching BFF tattoos?

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Hanley Ramirez and Jose Reyes are going to great lengths to show everyone that they are totes best buds and not mortal frenemies. After posting Twitpics of their Playstation matchups, the two have upped the ante by getting matching dye-jobs:

Our reaction:


Seriously you two, get a room...

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Guest Post at Big League Stew

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Yours truly contributed the Marlins contributed the Marlins piece for Big League Stew's 10 Best Things series. Read it here. Big thanks to Kevin Kaduk for the opportunity.

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UniWatch Reviews the Marlins' New Duds

Via ESPN.com:
The Marlins -- now the Miami Marlins -- have gotten a complete overhaul. Public opinion seems to be mostly along the lines of "Those sure look silly," but here's a little secret: Uni Watch thinks they look pretty good, especially the home whites. Sure, they used too many colors, but Miami is a colorful town, so why not? And did anyone -- seriously, anyone -- really love the old design? Yes, there are a few problems, mainly involving the ginormous cap logo and the absolutely brutal uni numbers, but I bet those get tweaked in a year or two. When you look at the whole package, the feeling here is that it's not so bad.
We're guessing you might not agree with Paul Lukas' assessment of the old uniforms (since so many people are apparently in love with teal), but we were never truly wed to them either.

Image via SportsLogos.net

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Home Run Structure in Action

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Via YouTube user MrSand0880, here is a video of the Marlins' home run display in action.


Verdict: People who already hate it will still hate it. I think you're all nuts if you don't like it. 

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Lil' Napoleon!

Monday, March 19, 2012

We missed this over the weekend, but the Miami Herald has a piece on the Marlins' pursuit for stadium funding over the last decade that is chock full of solid reporting nuggets. Some of our favorites:
During his short-lived, tumultuous stint as an executive with the now-defunct Montreal Expos, his brash style earned Samson a nickname: Little Napoleon.
How did we not know about this? Henceforth this blog will refer to Jeffrey Loria and Samson as Big Stein Jr. and Lil' Napoleon.
He grew up in New York a fierce Knicks fan. While other fans might razz the point guard, Samson would heckle the general manager or owner — always from seats close to the floor.
Not gonna lie, I love that. Athletes can handle trash talk - they hear it all the time. Owners and GMs, however, rarely get it, so any heckling they receive is more likely to be noticed and or hurt them. Samson got GREAT value for his heckling.
"I can tell you that David did not come to class prepared all that often," said Cardozo [Yeshiva Law School] professor David Rudenstine, who had Samson in his Federal Courts class some two decades ago. "But David would have strong, well-informed opinions. It was always a marvel to me that he could strike me as someone who was skating on top of the material, but had very precise and perceptive opinions."
That quote will stand out to many, but that is far from unique among professional schools. Anyone who's been to law school or business school (or grad programs in humanities and social sciences) has a few former classmates who could pull the same trick, barely preparing but still standing out in discussions by virtue of some forcefully-articulated opinions. They are often universally resented. No shocker to me that Samson was one of these dudes.
At the end of each season in Montreal, the Expos would stage a ballgame for staff, the radio host said. Former pro pitcher Claude Raymond — an icon still in Montreal — would take the mound for both sides. One year, Samson came down to the field, grabbed a bat, and dug in, his tie flung over a shoulder.

"Raymond threw one right at him," Melnick said. "He drilled the Expos' president."

Afterward, Melnick insists, the pitcher was "treated like a hero by most of the office staff."
Claude Raymond: Too awesome for words.

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Midseason Form

Monday, March 12, 2012

If you put all your money on Spring Training Game 8 in the "Guess Ozzie Guillen's First Ejection" pool, you just won big. Guillen got thrown out of the Marlins' 5-3 loss to the Red Sox Monday after arguing a foul ball call with the first base umpire. Ozzie get worked up in a Spring Training game? Shocking, I know. 


The fuck're you looking at?
But wait, there's more! Not only did Ozzie get tossed for "protecting his players," as he put it, he also had some choice words for Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine:
Guillen did not see or hear Valentine's remarks, but asked how he would have reacted, Guillen made his feelings clear.

"I don't see it. I would have told him to go and [expletive] himself, too," said Guillen, with a laugh. "That's the way Ozzie Guillen is."
First of all, I LOVE Ozzie talking in the third person. He cannot do that enough. Secondly, it's been far too long since a Marlin had a beef with Bobby V (the last one I can remember is Cliff Floyd way back in 2001). Glad to see that tradition come back to the fore.

It is going to be so much fun to cover Ozzie this year. He's the only dude who can hold a candle to Jack McKeon as a lightning rod for awesome quotes.

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Extensions!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The trusty Buster Olney reports:

By the way: The Marlins have talked about presenting a big, crooked number in a contract offer to Giancarlo Stanton, sometime soon.
This is of no surprise, obviously, but it is indeed good to hear from a reliable reporter that the Marlins are working on giving Stanton an extension, so he can keep giving male fans extensions inside their pants. Carry on.

UPDATE!

A different journalist, the also reliable Peter Gammons, says not so fast:
As for Marlins trying to extend Giancarlo Stanton...haven't even reached out
\empties bucket of ice water down my pants

I know #MONSTERDONG is under club control for at least four more years, but the team should really be looking to lock him up now at a reasonable price before he is hitting 50+ baseballs into Earth orbit per season. What happened to the $250 million that they were offering Albert Pujols (after already securing Bell, Reyes, and Buehrle)?

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Nuance lives! Hooray nuance!

David Samson: not entirely villainous. Miami Today has taken his quotes from a business conference, and we ran with it. Oops. Let's just say now we're even with Samson for the second Cameron Maybin trade...

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David Samson, kind of a jerk

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Make that, "pretty much a big jerk":
Of politicians the team dealt with during the stadium planning process, Samson said they were "not the intellectual cream of the crop." This assessment extended to everyone else in South Florida. "We're not the smartest people in Miami," he said. "If you're in this room, you're instantly in the top 1%."

Of the Marlins' new stadium in Little Havana, Samson thinks the team will thrive even if no one shows up to their games. "We don't care if nobody comes," he said. "We'll play in front of nobody, and we'll have all the money."

So to summarize, Samson thinks his customers are dumb and unnecessary for the team's success. He embodies the fan-unfriendly persona the team has assumed in the decade since Jeffrey Loria bought the team.
Seriously, dude? You've already won by out-crooking the crooks in local and state governments, there's no need to rub it in.

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Why Do the Marlins Take Their Music Cues From the Dr. Pepper Snapple Marketing Division?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

This seems like as good a time as any to reveal our new favorite gif:

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What $2 Million Buys You




Never mind the complex electronics that must be involved in getting this monstrosity to come to life when a home run is hit, the actual artwork for the piece is rather ordinary. And by ordinary, I mean it looks like something I doodled in fourth grade.

While David has recently confessed he, "loves this thing," I still can't fathom how this has gone from idea to finished product without anyone intervening (save for perhaps Greg Dobbs). I appreciate the sheer absurdity, and boy do I ever think this calamity is just so befitting of the Marlins (Florida AND Miami), but I remain entrenched in the camp that will be holding their head in their hands every time we gaze upon this structure.

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Much Ado About Nothing

Monday, March 5, 2012

Did you hear? Some Marlins think the team's ugly/beautiful centerfield home run structure is too distracting to left-handed hitters, and say MLB might make the team do something about it:
According to MLB rules, hitters must be able to see the ball leave the pitcher's hand without any interference. This is why MLB stadiums do not have any field-level seats in straightaway centerfield.

Though the team is adamant that it received clearance from the league regarding the structure, a few players on the team think it could still be a problem when play begins at the new stadium.

"I won't be the only left-handed hitter saying something" Marlins utility infielder Greg Dobbs said ominously to the Miami Herald on Sunday. "If other teams have a problem with it, they're definitely going to voice their concern to the league."
The team says MLB has given the okay, and I'd be surprised if that okay is rescinded once the season starts. Opposing left-handed hitters will definitely complain to the league about it (because there is no reason not to), but keep in mind that MLB represents ownership, not the players. Unless other owners raise a fuss about it, this issue will die a quiet death, methinks.

And really, if the structure actually does make it difficult for lefties to see the ball leave the pitcher's hand, it will affect Marlins hitters just as much as their opponents. But that will not likely prevent someone complaining about the Marlins' perceived unfair competitive advantage.

Regardless, the Marlins better hope the complaints don't lead MLB to force the team's hand. If they are actually ordered to do something about the structure, they will either have to take it down or move it closer to the leftfield line. The latter would be expensive, and logistically impossible during the season (I think).


Image via

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Throwing Cold Water On Everyone's Stanton-Boner

Thursday, March 1, 2012


This piece will probably upset the masses, but we feel it is necessary. Mike Giancarlo Stanton is getting a lot of press recently, from both local and national media. Most are predicting another extraordinary season from him, and why not? By many measures, he is joining elite company by slugging this well at such a young age.

Then you run across headlines like this (albeit, a Bleacher Report concoction):

Why Mike Stanton Will Win 2012 NL MVP

It isn't a long piece, but I can condense it into three simple sentences. Basically, Stanton is has accomplished a lot at a very young age. Plus, he is improving his walk and strikeout rate, which should make his numbers even better. Also, the Marlins should be good, so he'll get more exposure.

The writer failed to mention the biggest reason why Stanton, or any other NL player for that matter, will win the MVP; Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder now reside in the American League. This is on top of the fact that the argument isn't all that convincing, despite the lofty headline.

Stanton had some very interesting stats in 2011, as compared to his 2010 rookie season. He had very significant jumps in ISO (.248 to .275), wOBA (.355 to .378), and wRC+ (118 to 138), despite his BABIP falling from .330 to .314. Why? Mainly because he simply hit for even more power, and also had marked improvement in his strikeout rate and walk rate (up to 11.6%) last year.

There are a couple problems though. First, his K-rate remains very high (27.6% last year). It's trending in the right direction, but at least for now, Stanton is a power hitter who will rack up a bunch of K's. Because of this, pitchers will continue to challenge him, and while he had a much improved walk rate in 2011, that should level off.

There is also a troubling sign about his plate discipline. Mike swung at more pitches out of the strike zone in 2011, and he made contact on significantly fewer of those pitches. His overall swinging strike percentage rose as well. It's strange that those numbers would get worse, while most of his offensive statistics got better, but it's worth keeping an eye on, pun intended.

What does all this mean? Stanton should still be an absolute boss this year and worthy of much admiration. If you look at his FanGraphs page again, the five projections for the 2012 year all have him showing slight improvement in the major hitting categories. But, a .275 hitter with 40 home runs (no matter the absurd distances they will travel) is not a league MVP candidate. Instead, let's just enjoy the kid and not heap to much pressure on him. kthxbye

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