Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Marlins fans! Here is a gift from me, a blog post from the guy who has been MIA (pun intended) for quite some time. Figures I would pop up at literally the dullest point of the in or off season. Anyway, hope everyone is having a great holiday. The Marlins have already given us a great gift in the removal of John Buck¹. Then the Mets made things better by acquiring him! Here are a few other things I'd like from the organization:

• An updated roster with pictures. I seriously don't know who any of these guys are.
• A contract extension for Giancarlo Stanton, so he can keep giving us extensions in the pants.
• Enact a "clothing required" ordinance for batting practice, just in time for Mike Redmond's first year as manager. (They are other ways to bust through a slump)
• Better craft beer selections at Marlins Park
• Resign Cody Ross
• Tom Emanski's Defensive Drills DVD for the entire roster
• Wins, more of them 
• Revert to teal and black uniforms, kthxbye

Not exactly keeping my hopes up of receiving any of these. Carry on...

¹And Emilio Bonifacio (!!!)