That's Sr. Giancarlo #Monsterdong to You

Mike Stanton is now going by Giancarlo Stanton. Fine by us. Giancarlo is a much more melodic name to scream out in the throes of a masturbatory session home run blast.

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It begins

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The Most Monster of Dongs

Señor #MONSTERDONG, doing what he does best. Check it out here.

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Mike Stanton is good at baseball

1. Those are some sweet stirrups on Mets reliever DJ Carrasco
2. Mike Stanton can't be human. He is a robot sent from the future to save humanity via the long ball.

UPDATE: For some reason MLB's embed of Stanton's home run isn't working right now. Watch the video here.

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Important Announcement

Not pictured: Erections of Marlins fans

I know some Marlins fans (but not the sophisticated, capable-of-nuance readership of this blog) care about "chemistry," "class," "playing the game the 'right' way" and other such buzzwords, so I pass on this news from Joe Frisaro. Mike Stanton: not a punk, like some other dude on the team who we won't mention specifically but his name rhyme with Manly..

In his second year and his first full big league season, Stanton doesn't feel he has enough time in the game to do anything to draw additional attention to himself.

So when he unloads on his big blasts, he simply drops the bat and runs. On those shots he isn't sure have a chance, he is hustling, just in case the ball doesn't clear the fence.

What would it take for Stanton to "pimp" a home run?

"If they threw at me, for no reason," he said. "Or to intimidate me or whatever, then I will. If I'm upset about something."

Another time he would show more excitement is if it is a walk-off homer.

"Other than that, there is no need to," he said.

So there you go, Mike Stanton is the anti-Hanley. And his Twitter is super boring, so he's also the anti-LoMo while we're at it. Glad we've sorted that out.

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Yes, Please!

Mike Stanton could be offered a Hanley-like extension sometime in the not-too-distant future:

The Marlins have been having preliminary internal talks about a possible long-term contract for the 21-year-old right fielder.

The team hasn't come up with anything specific in terms of money and years, according to a person familiar with the situation, who said an offer probably wouldn't be made until next year.

Needless to say, the Marlins would be wise to lock up Stanton soon. He won't be arbitration-eligible until after the 2013 season, but if he gets an offer that moves his payday up a year or two and gives him peace of mind that he will be set for life, the Fish could get Stanton at a relative discount for the next few years (as they are with Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson and the Rays are getting with Evan Longoria).

This can't happen soon enough. It will be a great day for the franchise if and when Sr. #Monsterdong signs a long-term deal with the Marlins.

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I'm a baaaad man

Mike Pelfrey, via BLS:

I think Major League Baseball might want to find a way to get him out of the game, because he's going to hurt somebody.

Perhaps Jason Isringhausen (-0.4 WAR in 2011) should be the dude out of baseball, since he suffers from the delusion that one should pitch to Giancarlo Cruz Stanton...

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Wanna watch me hit some dingers?

MLB has finally made its videos embeddable. Welcome to 2004, Commissioner Selig. Which video will get the inaugural Marlins Diehards embed? As if you even had to ask...

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Your Delta Tau Xi name is #Monsterdong

Meme-tastic

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Mike Stanton Monster Dong Watch

Get used to this pose.

He did it again: here's the footage.

Also, via Buster Olney:

Longest Average HR Distance,2011 Season, Min. 6 HR: Mike Stanton 425.4 FT; Justin Upton 424.9; Matt Kemp 412.4; Miguel Cabrera 411.4

Also, how bad are the Mets? Seriously, who gives up a go-ahead RBI single to a relief pitcher(!) with 28 career PAs (and one career hit)?

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This is kinda what my nightmares look like

via The Fightins.

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Week in Review

Bombs away

Overview: The Fish split a four-game set with St. Louis then dropped two of three to Washington.
Positives: The Emilio Bonifacio small sample size bonanza continues (current BABIP: .387). Gaby Sanchez has quietly put together a stellar start, with a slash line of .306/.393/.455 (which doesn't include his 2 2B, 1 HR performance from Sunday).
Negatives: Josh Johnson had his first subpar outing of the season, but he's earned a mulligan or two. The Marlins' current third base situation is entirely untenable. The team should not have to depend on a platoon of Greg Dobbs and Wes Helms. It appears the bullpen has fallen back to earth, not that we didn't warn you. The Marlins saw their first three-game losing streak of the season, but thankfully it was halted by a stellar outing from Anibal Sanchez.
Line of the Week: Anibal was flat-out dealing this afternoon, taking a no-hitter into the seventh inning for the second time this season and striking out a career high 11 batters. His line:

7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 11 K

Highlight of the Week: Video of this Mike Stanton home run will cure erectile dysfunction.
Looking Ahead: The Marlins host a three-game set against the Phillies starting Monday, followed by a weekend series in DC.

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Week in Review

via SCWS

Overview: The Marlins swept the Pirates and took two of three from the Rockies in the weekend series.

Positives: Florida's starting pitchers had no-hit bids make it past 5 innings not one but three times, twice by Josh Johnson. As a team, the Marlins only gave up 12 runs in 6 games this week, changing their run differential from -6 to +14.

Negatives: Logan Morrison was placed on the 15-day DL with a strained foot (now in a cast), making room in the lineup for (blerg) Emilio Bonifacio. Hanley Ramirez and Mike Stanton have both struggled thus far this season. Stanton's main problem has been his penchant for striking out (35% K%), while Ramirez has been hampered by an infinitesimal .231 BABIP. What does the Marlins bullpen do a day after getting some favorable pub? Blow a 2-run lead and spoil Josh Johnson's chance at a win on Sunday. Luckily for the Fish, Stanton bailed them out with a three-run home run that surely would have made Earl Weaver smile had he seen it. Get your freak-show mojo away from our left-fielder!.

Line of the Week: He had the Line of the Week last week as well, but you can't say Josh Johnson hasn't earned the honor for a second straight week. His combined line this week in two starts:

14 IP, 5 H, 1 ER, 4 BB, 15 K, .579 WPA

Highlight of the Week: I was ready to give Scott Cousins the honor for his first career home run, a grand slam on Thursday night. But then Mike Stanton hit this bonerific three-run blast in the bottom of the eighth inning Sunday, so let's call it a tie.

Looking Ahead: The Marlins finish the homestand with a three-game set against the Dodgers starting tomorrow, then play three in Cincinnati this weekend.

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Who Will Be The Marlins MVP Of This Decade?

Recently, noted baseball writer Rob Neyer (now at SBNation) ran a series where he is projecting the Player of the Decade at each position. It was sparked by looking at his selections from 2000 for the players of the next decade. It's a fun exercise. At some positions there is really only one player to logically choose, but at others it's pretty much up in the air.

A couple of Marlins were under serious consideration. Hanley Ramirez was in a toss up with Troy Tulowitzki for shortstop. Neyer choose Tulowitzki, and I can't complain too much since he is younger and a better defensive player than Hanley. Also Mike Stanton was the first name mentioned after Jason Heyward for right field.

This got me to thinking of who I'd guess will be the Marlins Overall Player of the Decade for 2010-2019.

Hanley Ramirez

Pros: Hanley has racked up quite a few accolades in his first five years. He won Rookie of the Year in 2006. He won a batting title in 2009. And he's been an all-star each of the last three season. He's easily been the MVP of the post-2005 era and there is really nothing at the moment to suggest any decline. He's signed through 2014 and is pretty much a lock to break the franchise career records for most offensive categories.

Cons: If Hanley is that good, and the Marlins aren't winning, what are the chances of him staying past 2014? It's silly to think about, but Hanley has often talked about his desire to win and make the playoffs. It's conceivable that if the Marlins fail to break through in the next few years, he could get frustrated and ask for a trade or walk in free agency. The other con is that by the time the decade is over he'll be 37 years old. His numbers will eventually start to decrease and maybe there willl be injury concerns.

Mike Stanton

Pros: In the limited time we've seen Mike, he's been a beast. I mean, to my knowledge, he's the first Marlins player to have a blog written solely about him. There isn't as much of a track record as there is with Hanley but he's been a home run and RBI machine at every level in the minors and in his little over half season last year. Most scouts project him as a 40 HR a season guy which is something the Marlins have never had (with the exception of Sheffield's 42 in 1996). You'd have to think in the coming years he can slightly improve his batting and on-base percentages, which could lead to some insane OPS numbers. He's only 21 so you don't have to worry about him getting old and transitioning towards being a DH yet.

Cons: There is always a chance he can fall into the path of similar sluggers (Adam Dunn) and wind up as a power hitter who strikes out a ton and doesn't hit for a decent average. They are still good players and vital contributors, but 200 K's a year and a lifetime .240% hitter is not MVP-worthy. Even worse, he could be like Jack Cust who made a similar splash into the majors with a ton of home runs, but soon was figured out by pitchers and is now a just an average player. Of course there's always the risk of injury which is hard to quantify.

Josh Johnson

Pros: JJ is the Hanley category in that he has a good sample size of success already. Since coming back from Tommy John surgery in 2008 he has started 75 games and has an ERA under 3.00. He's also been an all-star the past two years. When it comes to health you'd think that'd be a con since he's already had major elbow surgery and had back issues last year. But, I think having the elbow surgery early in his career is a plus. Also this year he started training with former World's Strongest Man Mark Philippi to improve his core. That's a good sign that he will take his health seriously.

Cons: Age is a factor. Josh is 27 now and as he moves into his 30s you have to wonder if he'll lose any velocity on his pitches and whether that might force him to change his approach. Also, with pitchers there is a higher risk of injury. And if last year's trend continues and he gets poor run support and no bullpen help, he won't put up extraordinary W-L numbers. I, like many don't put too much into the Wins category for pitchers, but some do, and if he has pedestrian numbers that could cause him to be overlooked.

Logan Morrison

Pros: And now we are back to someone with a small sample size. Superb Twitter-user LoMo certainly doesn't possess the power of Stanton, rather he's an excellent line-drive hitter in the mold of a left-handed Paul Molitor. He won't hit too many home runs, but he should pile up great doubles and triples numbers while steadily increasing his batting average as he continues to learn Major League pitching.

Cons: The fact that he probably won't dominate at a specific statistical category may cause him to be overlooked. Also, there is no guarantee he'll raise his average and be a career .300 hitter. Finally, for some reason I've seen him in a trade rumor or two over the last few years. I would be very opposed to trading LoMo, but it's the Marlins, so that's always a possibility.

Other

There's a decent chance the Marlins MVP of the twenty-teens isn't even in the organization yet. As of right now the farm system is pretty bare and there is no true highly ranked prospect that you could give serious consideration to. But the Marlins scouting department has a good track record and pretty soon there should be a wave of new talent coming in. Hopefully this unknown prospect will be ready to contribute in the last half of this decade.

If forced to bet, with even money odds on everybody, I'd guess Mike Stanton. We'll revisit this in nine years, maybe.

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Q: How do you make someone in his mid-twenties feel old?

A:

His age (tomorrow): 21

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This Happened

Buried in this item on Ozzie Guillen's fractious relationship with the White Sox front office was this tidbit:

According to major-league sources, Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria was intent on making Guillen his next manager. Talks, sources say, progressed to the point that there was discussion of executing a trade that would send Guillen, who has a year left on his contract, to the Marlins for 20-year-old outfielder Mike Stanton, who hit 22 home runs and knocked in 59 runs in just 100 games as a rookie this season.

Not surprisingly, there's a little bit of frustration among Marlins fans floating around Twitter this morning. If this trade actually happened, I'm fairly certain I would have been irate. We all know my feelings about managers, trading a franchise outfielder for one is just plain stupid. But as Marlins fans, we should all know by now that no player, save for Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson, is safe from trade discussions, no matter how ludicrous. However, just because a discussion happens does not mean a trade is imminent. Dan Uggla has been thisclose to being traded for the past three seasons, and he's still around. Indeed, when I read this story, my first reaction was surprise at Loria's restraint. This seems like exactly the kind of ill-informed move a would-be Steinbrenner would make.

I quickly dismissed the report on Twitter this morning, whereupon I was met with skepticism. But really, we root for a team that disappoints us often. Let's reserve our anger for the bad trades that do happen, for the sake of our sanity if nothing else.

UPDATE: The Marlins are denying everything, as we'd expect.

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BBA Willie Mays Award

[Note: Ted and I are members of the Baseball Bloggers Alliance, and along with Michael Jong of Marlin Maniac we comprise the Florida/Miami chapter of the BBA. As BBA members, we have been asked to vote for the BBA's end-of-year awards through our blog. This is our ballot for the NL Willie Mays Award, given to the best rookie.]

This year's NL rookies were a veritable bumper crop, with much hype heading into the season. All three of our vote-getters were heralded heading into Spring Training, and all three have so far lived up to expectations. Here's our ballot:

1. Jason Heyward, OF, Atlanta
2. Buster Posey, C, San Francisco
3. Mike Stanton, OF, Florida

If you were to go purely on WAR (which isn't an unreasonable move), Heyward wins in a landslide, with 5.0 WAR compared to Posey's 3.9 and Stanton's 2.7 (and Marlins fans clamoring for Gaby Sanchez, please note that his WAR came in at 2.4 despite playing in 51 more games than Stanton, who also out-OPSed Sanchez .833 to .789). Posey did equaled Heyward's 18 home runs in 180 fewer plate appearances, but Heyward had a way better OBP (mostly because he walked at over twice the rate of Posey). And believe me, Ted and I did not like having to choose between a Brave and a Seminole.

You can read Michael's ballot at Marlin Maniac.

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The Curse

A quick look at the Marlins Twitter Directory informs me that there are 5 Marlins on Twitter at the moment:

1. Chris Coghlan: Out for the season after injuring himself while giving Wes Helms a shaving cream pie after a walk-off base hit.
2. John Baker: Out for the season, just underwent Tommy John surgery.
3. Brett Hayes: Out for the season after separating his shoulder on a play at the plate this week.
4. Logan Morrison: Almost died at the hands of an Emilio Bonifacio foul ball this afternoon
5. Mike Stanton: Healthy so far.

Mike, please do Marlins fans a favor and deactivate your Twitter account now. It's only a matter of time before the Twitter curse catches up.

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Follow Friday

@mikestanton27: Your mancrush and social media have combined their powers. All is right with the world.

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Week in Review

Stumbling into the All-Star break...


Overview: The Marlins took 2 of 3 from the Dodgers in LA before splitting a 4-game set in Arizona.
Line of the Week: How much worse off would the Marlins be without Josh Johnson? 4.4 wins worse, according to FanGraphs. His line from Wednesday night:

8 IP, 6H, 0R, 1BB, 8K, 117 pitches

Highlight of the Week: Mike Stanton went deep on Wednesday night and his shot landed in a spare glove in the Dodgers' bullpen. See it here.
Looking Ahead: After the All-Star Break, the Fish open a 3-game set at home against the Nationals.

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