Rape References: A Handy Guide

Seeing as Marlins critics can't seem to shake the impulse to invoke rape when comparing the moves (baseball and financial) made by the team over the past few years, Marlins Diehards presents a list of times when it is okay to compare anything to rape:

• Never.
• Seriously, don't do it.

Related: Anyone else notice that the two people guilty of these references (former manager Lou Piniella and Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado) are both dudes?

Regardless, if "swindled" is too weak a word for your taste, buy a thesaurus (or use the internet). Here are our proposed alternatives:

• Bamboozle
• Hornswoggle
• Defraud (all local politicians should know this word...)
• Bilk
• Loria (as a verb, it means all the words above)
• Snow-job
• Flimflam