Someone tell David Samson no one cares about his fears

Of course Samson would complain about Logan Morrison's Twitter feed...

"I'm not a dinosaur," Samson says. "But I'm not thrilled. It's very scary to me. I've told Logan, 'People are waiting for you to make a mistake. They're going to bait you on Twitter to say something inappropriate that you can never take back.'"

I really hope LoMo replies "Thanks, Dad" in a super passive-aggressive manner every time Samson says this.

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Wanna watch me hit some dingers?

MLB has finally made its videos embeddable. Welcome to 2004, Commissioner Selig. Which video will get the inaugural Marlins Diehards embed? As if you even had to ask...

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MLB Stadium Rankings By Yelp

Nate Silver ranked MLB ballparks at the New York Times this weekend, but instead of developing his own ranking criteria, he used the review site Yelp.com to crowd-source his rankings. According to Yelp users, Pittsburgh's PNC Park is the best stadium in MLB, followed by Fenway Park, AT&T Park in San Francisco, Target Field in Minneapolis, and Camden Yards in Baltimore (in that order).

Sun Life Stadium is the fourth worst MLB stadium according to Yelp reviews (no surprise there), only ahead of Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Oakland's Overstock.com Coliseum, and the Rogers Centre in Toronto. Silver has two words of warning which are of interest to Marlins fans:

But not every new ballpark is equally well regarded. Washington's Nationals Park, for example, receives tepid reviews (3.63 stars), although perhaps that is because fans find it hard to look past the ugly play of the team on the field.

So the Marlins should do whatever possible to not suck when the new stadium opens. Sounds like a good plan. He follows that up with this:

One potential conclusion is that it's not worth building a retractable roof (which often requires significant additional taxpayer expense.) The five stadiums which have one receive an average rating of 3.86, versus an average of 4.10 for those that remain open to the elements.

I have a feeling the new Marlins park will be an exception. The closed roof will be a lifesaver on Sunday afternoon games in July and August, and Miami has a rain delay problem unlike any other MLB city (save for perhaps Seattle, but Seattle rain is a different beast altogether, as I've calmly explained to a ton of people in the past few months).

I am of course biased, but I always liked Sun Life (/Dolphin/Pro Player/Joe Robbie) Stadium. The surplus of empty seats allowed for plentiful "free" seat upgrades, and the field has a delightful quirkiness, with the teal tower in left field and the Bermuda Triangle in left-center. But it's a pain to get to Sun Life from West Kendall (where Ted and I grew up), the food is nothing to get excited about, and sharing the stadium with the Dolphins and Hurricanes during football season is a drag. The 27th ranking seems just about right.

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Week in Review

Via Big League Stew

Overview: The Marlins swept the Giants in three games, but dropped two of three to the Dodgers over the weekend.
Positives: Javier Vazquez has seemingly returned from the dead, throwing his second and third quality starts of the season in his last two outings. His fastball has returned to the low-90s range, and he has only allowed one line drive over the last two starts, with a 10/3 K/BB (compared to 20/17 in his first 8 starts). In other improbable pitching successes, the Marlins used a bullpen platoon to cover what would have been Josh Johnson's start on Saturday, with five relievers combining for a 6 hit, 1 run performance in a winning effort. That's all icing on the cake when combined with the gems thrown by Ricky Nolasco and Anibal Sanchez in San Francisco. John Baker is a thoughtful and articulate writer, be sure to read his piece on Wednesday's Scott Cousins-Buster Posey collision.
Negatives: Nolasco followed up a solid outing in San Francisco with his worst game of the year yesterday. He only made it through 5 innings, giving up 8 runs on 15 hits. Check your fantasy league, there's a decent chance some idiot waived Ricky yesterday. A disappointing start for Hanley Ramirez got even worse yesterday when he was lifted due to lower back stiffness. Hanley is listed day to day.
Line of the Week: Anibal Sanchez continues to impress this year. He went the distance in San Francisco on Thursday, picking up his fourth win and second complete game of the season.

9.0 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 8 K, 2 BB, 111 pitches

Highlight of the Week: Honorable mention goes to Mike Stanton's BP monster dong on Wednesday, but this week's honor goes to the aforementioned Cousins-Posey collision, as the Marlins notched what would be the winning run on an Emilio Bonifacio sac fly. The diehards extend our best wishes to Posey as he recovers from the injury sustained in the play.
Looking Ahead: The Fish open a three-game series in the Phoenix against the Diamondbacks, then return home for a four-game set against the Brewers beginning Friday.

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Double Turds!

So much for that June 1 return...

Still no word yet on if he'll pitch June 1, but it sounds like the team is leaning toward having him miss two more starts and return during the next home stand at the earliest.

Johnson will play catch again tomorrow and then ramp up to long tossing and then a bullpen session.

But in order to be ready to start June 1, he said he’d have to throw a bullpen session "pretty quick. We'll see how it reacts in the next couple of days and well know more by then."

The Marlins don't sound like they want to rush him back.

RTWTH. I understand not wanting to rush Johnson back (better he misses an extra week in June than in September), but now I'm worried. Marlin Maniac didn't exactly help with his remote diagnosis, so now I have to hope Johnson is okay and Michael is a bad doctor/med student...

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There's no way this ends well

As you would expect, Emilio Bonifacio's Twitter page is rather disappointing. No profile photo, standard background, not verified.

Prediction: Half the Marlins fans I follow on Twitter will be blocked by Bonifacio (once Logan Morrison teaches him how to do it) within a day of his next bad at bat.

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Larry Beinfest's Next Job

Not baseball related at all:

There was a time when the Defense Department and its overseers in the congressional armed services committees did this sort of [cost/benefit] analysis routinely. But the knack, or the demand for it, dried up during "the post-9/11 decade," when the military grew "accustomed," as Gates put it in his AEI speech, to a "no-questions-asked" attitude on funding requests for anything and everything the services wanted. Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, made the same point in hearings this past January: "We've lost our ability to prioritize, make hard decisions, make trades." [emphasis added]

Confidential to President Obama: maybe you should think about making Marlins GM Larry Beinfest your next Secretary of Defense. Sure, it will be a bummer when he trades Seal Team Six to South Korea, but soon enough, your defense budget will be cut in half and the military will still manage to outperform expectations.

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Off-Day Guide: May 23

TV

• Run Rick Run (ESPNU, 7:00): If you never saw this installment of the 30 for 30 series, it gives a surprisingly candid retelling of Ricky Williams' surprise retirement before the 2004 season.
• Red Sox at Indians (ESPN2, 7:00): Your requisite baseball entry.
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall (FX, 8:00): You'll laugh, but won't remember much about the film by the time it's over. 
• NBA Western Conference Finals, Game 4 (ESPN, 9:00): The Thunder try to tie up their series with the Mavericks.
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Comedy Central, 10:00): There are 3 other episodes on, starting at 9:00, but the 10:00 episode, "The Gang Buys a Boat," was my favorite of the most recent season.

Book

I'm going to start reading Jonathan Franzen's acclaimed 2001 novel The Corrections tonight. At this pace, I should get to Freedom by 2020.

Other

Obviously we want all of you to read the New Yorker profile of Mets owner Fred Wilpon. He thinks Jose Reyes is overrated, too, but the article covers much more than that, including Wilpon's friendship with Sandy Koufax and his business dealings with Bernard Madoff.

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Week In Review

Overview: The Marlins had a win and a rainout versus the cowardly Mets. Then they dropped two games against the Cubs. This weekend they won two of three against the Rays to finish the week 3-3.
Positives: The main upside to this week was that Javier Vazquez miraculously looks like a viable starting pitcher again. Also, LoMo and Stanton continue their hot streaks at the plate.
Negatives: Huge bummer on Saturday when news came down that Josh Johnson is being placed on the 15-day disabled list. They are optimistic that he will return the day he's eligible, but you just never know. In the mean time, the Jay Buente Experience didn't fare so well today.
Line of the Week: A tip of the cap to Javier Vazques for that Saturday performance, but this week' honor goes to the bullpen, for tossing six innings of scoreless relief to beat the Mets on Monday. Burke Badenhop also recorded the game winning hit and RBI.

6 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 9 K

Highlight of the Week: Mike Stanton hit three #MONSTERDONGs this week, but none more impressive than this 465-foot blast to tie the game in New York. Keep in my mind the wind was blowing in at around 16 mph that evening.
Looking Ahead: The Fish have an off-day tomorrow as they head west for three in both San Francisco and Los Angeles.

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Johnson on DL

Turds.

Johnson said that he has felt discomfort since Spring Training and had an MRI on Friday. He last threw a bullpen session on Thursday and won't try again until at least Tuesday. He believes he should only miss two starts.

 He is on the DL retroactive to May 17, meaning he can't return until June 1,

"I'm kind of at peace with it. It took everything I had to go and say something," Johnson said. "Once I did, it almost felt better, [like] something lifted off my shoulders, and get it right and get back to feeling good like I did at the beginning of the season."

Here's hoping this doesn't take more than 15 days.

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A 10-Fingered Antonio Alfonseca

Leo Nunez converted his 16th save in as many chances Friday night as the Marlins defeated Tampa 5-3. He retired all three hitters in the ninth in succession for only the seventh time in 23 appearances. In five of those seven times, he earned a save. 22 of his 23 appearances have lasted a single inning. The one outlier, a 2/3 inning save on May 1 in Cincinnati, occurred when he entered a 9-5 game with one out in the ninth inning and runners on second and third (he walked one batter but recorded the final two outs while holding the Reds scoreless).

In contrast to those 7 1-2-3 innings, Leo has amassed 10 Alfonseca saves.

Alfonseca Save (n.): recorded when a pitcher enters the game at the start of an inning in a save situation, allows multiple runners on base and/or gives up runs, but still manages to record a save. Pioneered by the twelve-fingered Antonio Alfonseca, whose tenure with the Marlins (1997-2001) featured many such saves.

No two Alfonseca saves are alike, so let's take a look at each one.

1. April 6: Enters ninth inning with a 7-4 lead against Washington. Strikes out Pudge Rodriguez, induces a groundout from Alex Cora. An Ian Desmond single is followed by a Jayson Werth walk. Representing the tying run, Ryan Zimmerman strikes out swinging. This is a sterling example of an Alfonseca save.
2. April 8: Enters ninth inning with a 4-2 lead @ Houston. Brett Wallace homers to lead off, halving the lead. Nunez retires the next two batters, but then gives up a single to JR Towles. With Jason Bourgeois pinch hitting for the pitcher, pinch runner Joe Inglett is caught stealing by catcher Brett Hayes. This is an even better Alfonseca save than the first, since Nunez reduced the Marlins' lead to one run.
3. April 14: Enters ninth inning with a 6-5 lead @ Atlanta. Alex Gonzalez leads off with a single, but Leo retires the next three batters in 9 pitches. In a one-run game, a single baserunner earns you the Alfonseca save.
4. April 15: Enters ninth inning with a 4-3 lead @ Philadelphia. Nunez issues a one-out walk to John Mabry, then induces 2 flyouts with 3 pitches.
5. April 29: Enters ninth inning with a 7-4 lead @ Cincinnati. Leo gets so close to meltdown the dugout had to put on radiation suits. Back-to-back one-out doubles cut the lead to 7-5. Nunez strikes out pinch hitter Chris Heisey swinging, then gives up an RBI single to Drew Stubbs, who steals second with two outs. Nunez strikes out Jay Bruce looking though, and a crisis is averted. His most death-defying feat of the season thus far.
6. May 2: Enters ninth inning with a 4-3 lead @ Cincinnati: Nunez walks the leadoff batter, and follows it up with a good defensive play to nab the runner at second on a bunt attempt for the first out. Nunez strikes out Allen Craig swinging for out number two. Against Ryan Theriot, the runner advances to second base on a wild pitch, then gets to third on a single. Leo cuts the rally short by inducing a fielder's choice from Colby Rasmus, though. Very close call.
7. May 4: Enters ninth inning with a 4-2 lead @ St. Louis: A one-out home run by Jon Jay cuts the lead in half, with Albert Pujols on deck. Nunez walks him on four pitches, and things are getting dicey, when Matt Holliday improbably grounds into a game-ending double play. Fun fact, Leo threw 10 balls and 13 strikes that inning.
8. May 10: Enters ninth inning with a 2-1 lead against Philadelphia. Leo works around a one-out walk, getting two straight ground outs.
9. May 14: Enters ninth inning with a 1-0 lead against Washington. The first two batters reach on a walk and single. A fielder's choice puts runners at the corners, but a pop-up followed by a flyout quell the Nationals. He very nearly spoiled an Anibal Sanchez gem.
10. May 16: Enters eleventh inning with a 2-1 lead @ New York. Leo retires the first two batters, but Jonathan Niese a pitcher pinch hitting (!), legs out a triple. Nunez strikes out Jose Reyes to end the game, ensuring Burke Badenhop's heroics was not all for naught.

That's ten appearances in which the tying run reached base. Six of those (April 6, 8, 29; May 2, 14, 16) were quite hair-raising. You can view a spreadsheet of his saves here, Alfonseca saves are highlighted, and I'll keep it updated as the season progresses. We'll update you occasionally. Should be a wild ride.

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Update on New Ballpark with Photos and Info

Over at the MarlinsBaseball.com forums, user TheChickenRuns@Midnight recently posted some photos and information on the new ballpark from what looks like a recent stadium tour he was on.

(click images to enlarge)

Oh man that shot from the first base side looking towards left field with the city skyline in the background is awesome. Clearly it will be one of the nicest areas to sit.

There is also some info from a Q&A with the guide.

Lots of bars. Apparently more bars than this guy has ever seen in a ballpark/stadium.

If the temp outside is less than 75 the roof/glass stays open. If its at or above they close them.

The roof is almost done. Once they finish it they aren't as concerned about hurricanes since the majority of the work will be inside. I think he said it will be done in 2 months so cross your fingers...

Not a bad seat in the house. We walked down the 3rd baseline and to the foul pole. Still feels like you have great seats. We didn't leave the main area that wraps around the ballpark but its easy to tell there wont be a bad seat.

7500 sqft restaurant will be open all year and will be like a Duffys or Alehouse (examples given to me). Also a smoothie and Mexican place.

There are a few more photos and some more info if you go to the full thread.

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Your Delta Tau Xi name is Honey Badger

You kind of gave yourself this nickname, but we'll grant an exemption for you. You earned it on that Mike Stanton sac fly.

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Your Delta Tau Xi name is #Monsterdong

Meme-tastic

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Your Delta Tau Xi name is Pollyanna

via @LoMoDimples

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There's an Intruder on the Field

Not much to be said about what happened last night during the 5th inning that hasn't already been said. If you are confused or in the dark about what happened, check out the recap on SCWS (Maybe NSFW if you don't want your employer to see you looking at a man's bare ass).

Upside: Wasn't a lame streaker who strips down but doesn't get completely naked (Wait, is that an upside?)
Downside: Pretty weak run in terms of distance traveled and time he eluded capture (Maybe this is an upside.)

We can imagine that during his moment of glory he was hearing the following in his head:

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Javier Vazquez Diagnosed

From the Miami Herald's Barry Jackson:

Marlins pitcher Javier Vazquez's fastball is at the lowest average velocity in his career (88.2 mph, down from 91.1 two years ago, according to fangraphs.com). But one scout said the bigger issue is "his breaking ball is flat. There's no life." When batters swing at his pitches out of the strike zone, they are making contact 85.9 percent of the time this season, compared with 51.2 two years ago. Overall, Vasquez is getting swings and misses just 9.5 percent of all pitches swung at, compared with 26.7 two years ago.

I've given up on Vazquez miraculously turning things around (as I'm sure the rest of you already have). Unfortunately, there's no clear replacement waiting in the wings in the farm system. Sean West and Alex Sanabia are injured, and Elih Villanueva, another possible replacement, is struggling in Triple-A (with a 3.33 BB/9 and 5.33 FIP). We may be stuck with Vazquez for awhile.

 

On a lighter note, remember when newspaper writers thought it was preposterous to look at advanced statistics? Glad that's over.

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Marlins-Mets Tuesday Night Game Postponed

"Waaaaaaahhhhhh!! We don't want to play tonight! We don't want to get wet.

Let the record show this was the scene just an hour or two before scheduled first pitch. And according to @DatRoroKid, the weather has remained clear until the time I'm posting this, which is 8:45pm.

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Mike Stanton Monster Dong Watch

Get used to this pose.

He did it again: here's the footage.

Also, via Buster Olney:

Longest Average HR Distance,2011 Season, Min. 6 HR: Mike Stanton 425.4 FT; Justin Upton 424.9; Matt Kemp 412.4; Miguel Cabrera 411.4

Also, how bad are the Mets? Seriously, who gives up a go-ahead RBI single to a relief pitcher(!) with 28 career PAs (and one career hit)?

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#WhiteWhine

Those protesters sound selfish. Speaking of which...

I'm sorry, I thought this was Twimerica.

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Week In Review

Get used to seeing this

Overview: The Marlins lost two of three against the Phillies then won two of three in Washington. They are now 23-16 and remain in second place, two games behind Philadelphia.
Positives: The team was 3-0 in one run games this week which surely makes Edwin Rodriguez happy. Logan Morrison is back and has hit well. Mike Stanton has really been scorching balls at the plate. Anibal Sanchez was able to string a couple good starts in a row.
Negatives: The bullpen blew a 3-0 seventh inning lead on Wednesday ending the Marlins hopes of winning the Phillies series. The Fish also fell to just 1-4 in games when they had a chance to finish a sweep. It also was another shake my head performance from Javier Vazquez, who gave up 6 runs in the first inning today.
Line of the Week: Anibal Sanchez threw a gem on Saturday. Good timing too, because the offense only scratched out one run in the victory.

W, 8 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 9 K

Highlight of the Week: Friday's game featured some great plays by both teams. Omar Infante helped the Marlins win with a nifty slide, but his double-play with Hanley from earlier in the game wins this week's honors.
Looking Ahead: The Fish have a busy week as they start by wrapping up the road trip by playing two in new York against the Mets. Then they come home for two with the Cubs and three with the Rays.

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This Is Our Closer

Yesterday's blow by blow:

• Leo Nunez enters the 9th inning with a 1-0 lead. The Marlins hold an 81% chance of winning.
• He walks Jayson Werth. Win probability now at 68%.
  
• Base hit by Laynce Nix. Game is now a toss-up with both teams right around a 50% chance of winning. I bunker down underneath my desk.
  
• Fielders choice by Adam Laroche, out made at 2nd. Werth moves to third. Marlins 55% to win.
• Wilson Ramos saves the day for the Fish by popping up on the first pitch, not deep enough to score Werth. Win probability skyrockets back to 81%.
• Jerry Hairston flies out to left field ending the game. Just how Antonio Alfonseca drew it up. Leo is now 14-14 in save opportunities. Perfect.

All win probability numbers courtesy of FanGraphs

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This is kinda what my nightmares look like

via The Fightins.

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Off-day Guide: May 12

TV

NBC Comedies (8:00-11:00): Part 2 of Community's paintball follow-up, Dwight becomes acting manager at Dunder-Mifflin-Sabre, TWO new Parks and Recs, and... Outsourced, the Emilio Bonifacio of NBC's Thursday lineup.
NBA Playoffs (ESPN, 8:00): Bulls-Hawks Game 6.
AJ Burnett's no-hitter (ESPN Classic, 8:00): Relive all NINE walks! Plus a HBP!

Book

Earlier this year I reread The Great Gatsby for the fifth or sixth time. It is still one of my five favorite novels, and Fitzgerald's prose continues to delight. I realized this time around that the novel is really about the closing of the American frontier, but that's a discussion for another time. Instead, let's marvel at Fitzgerald's paradoxical conclusion:

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fin morning--

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Bonus

Werner Herzog's The Cave of Forgotten Dreams should be on your to-do list. Legendary director Werner Herzog examines 32,000 year-old cave paintings in Southwestern France using 3D in a way that even anti-3D critics like Roger Ebert have cheered. Ebert writes of the film:

Herzog's limitation of four small portable light panels works to his advantage; as they move they suggest how the flickering torches might have created an illusion of movement in those repeated features. The space was so limited it was impossible for his crew to stay out of many shots, and their shadows dance on the walls, just as the shadows of forgotten ancestors must have danced in the torchlight. Herzog's inspiration is to show us the paintings as the cave's original visitors must have seen them. I have seen perfectly-lighted photographs of other cave paintings that are not so evocative.

The trailer is below, see also Herzog's recent interview on The Sound of Young America. If the film isn't playing in your area yet, check out Encounters at the End of the World, Herzog's Antarctic documentary, now available on Netflix Instant.

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There has to be a better way to honor America than this

The Tea Party has it all wrong. Commemorative baseball caps are the greatest threat to the republic. They are an aesthetic assault WITHIN OUR OWN BORDERS.

And yet Obama does NOTHING.

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Random Thought

Is it me, or would Josh Johnson make a great extra in a zombie movie?

Fun fact from last night's pitchers duel between JJ and Roy Halladay, via SB Nation:

According to Jayson Stark, when Roy Halladay walked Josh Johnson in the third inning Tuesday night, it was the first time in Halladay's career that he walked a pitcher.

And wouldn't you know, it wound up costing Halladay a run.

Halladay has only been in the NL for a little over a season, so he hadn't had many chances yet.

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Week in Review

Bombs away

Overview: The Fish split a four-game set with St. Louis then dropped two of three to Washington.
Positives: The Emilio Bonifacio small sample size bonanza continues (current BABIP: .387). Gaby Sanchez has quietly put together a stellar start, with a slash line of .306/.393/.455 (which doesn't include his 2 2B, 1 HR performance from Sunday).
Negatives: Josh Johnson had his first subpar outing of the season, but he's earned a mulligan or two. The Marlins' current third base situation is entirely untenable. The team should not have to depend on a platoon of Greg Dobbs and Wes Helms. It appears the bullpen has fallen back to earth, not that we didn't warn you. The Marlins saw their first three-game losing streak of the season, but thankfully it was halted by a stellar outing from Anibal Sanchez.
Line of the Week: Anibal was flat-out dealing this afternoon, taking a no-hitter into the seventh inning for the second time this season and striking out a career high 11 batters. His line:

7.0 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 11 K

Highlight of the Week: Video of this Mike Stanton home run will cure erectile dysfunction.
Looking Ahead: The Marlins host a three-game set against the Phillies starting Monday, followed by a weekend series in DC.

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Game Recap In One Photo

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Marlins Link Dump

We rarely do link dumps, but we've seen a few items at other blogs that you'll want to check out.

• Big League Stew reiterates what we have been saying for the past few weeks: "Hanley has been getting horrendously unlucky on balls in play."
• Also at BLS, Marlins catcher John Baker writes about his ongoing rehabilitation from Tommy John surgery.
• What's going on with Javier Vazquez? Marlin Maniac knows, and the news is not good.
• Josh Johnson was named NL Pitcher of the Month yesterday, to the surprise of no one.
• The Twins' Francisco Liriano pitched a no-hitter last night that was among the "worst" no-hitters in MLB history (2 K, 6 BB, 66 strikes out of 123 total pitches). Ted and I agree that Liriano's no-no is still not as bad as AJ Burnett's, against the Padres on May 12, 2001. AJ walked 9 (still the most ever in a no-hitter), hit one batter, and threw 65 strikes in 129 total pitches. 
• Finally, this is not Marlins-related at all, but regardless... http://emojuanuribe.tumblr.com/

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Writer Calls Marlins 'Ultimate Hipster Team,' Tries to Ride Meme-Wave

Jeff Sullivan is a writer for SB Nation. Last week he called the Marlins 'MLB's Ultimate Hipster Team' because they have 'no fans' but are 'talented' despite having 'no budget.' He should have also mentioned that Logan Morrison is twitter-famous and Edwin Rodriguez wears alt-frames.

Of course, how can a team be considered alt if it hired the bro from Creed to sing a team anthem? And wouldn't a true hipster team wear uniforms with helvetica font made by American Apparel? Sure they have 'critical acclaim,' but the Marlins Mermaids aren't exactly alt QTs like Lexi Krauss or St. Vincent.

SB Nation is a sports blog site trying to 'go mainstream' by hiring 'name' writers like Rob Neyer and taking venture capital. The SB Nation bros prolly just realized how popular the 'Fuck Yeah Hipster [X]' meme is and decided a hipster blog post would generate some buzz. But hipsters are the 'low-hanging fruit' of the meme-sphere, maybe the SB Nation bros should 'try harder.'


Is the 'hipster' meme dead? Did Jeff Sullivan 'kill it'?
Are the Marlins a buzzteam?
Which buzzband best represents the Marlins? (prolly Cults Odd Future - thx Anonymous)
Is Jeff Sullivan SB Nation's Bill Simmons (via obvious metaphors)?
Would Pitchfork give Josh Johnson a 10.0 in 2k11?
Is @LoMoMarlins the Marlins' @bestycoastyy?
Is @LoMoDimples the Marlins' @snacksthecat?

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Awesome or Gross?

In addition to being a fucking boss, Josh Johnson broke Marlins catcher John Buck's cup on Saturday:

via John Buck's Twitter

Awesome? Gross? Both?

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Some More Miami Marlins Uniform Design Ideas

It's been awhile since we mulled over potential uniform changes when the Marlins complete their redesign to coincide with the opening of the new stadium next year, but I've seen a few ideas floating around that were worth sharing. UniWatch Blog contributor Jeff Provo came up with this Dolphins-inspired Miami Marlins design that is sure to please fans of teal:

He is not the first to try and coordinate the Marlins with the Dolphins. The striped stirrups are delightful, though I must admit I would not be disappointed if the team decides to forgo teal when they design the new uniforms. In fact, if the Fish were to cop another local team's color scheme, I would much rather it be the University of Miami's orange and green (as I've mentioned previously, they would  become the only major pro sports team with that color scheme). Rock-n-Jocks now sells a U-inspired Marlins hat that would not look bad if you swapped the 'F' for an 'M' (a la the Marlins' current batting-practice caps):

Most likely, though, is that the Miami Marlins uniforms will look nothing like either of these two concepts (especially considering both would clash with the dark blue seats in the new stadium). We're still reading tea leaves at this point, but if I were to do something as ridiculous as bet on baseball uniforms, I'd say we have some orange and dark blue in our future, Marlins fans.

It may not be the best color scheme for an NL East team, but perhaps it will fool some Mets fans into rooting for the Fish...

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Emilio Bonifacio: American Hero

On May 1, 2011, Emilio Bonifacio hit a home run, and Osama bin Laden's death was announced to the world by President Obama.

CLEARLY THE FORMER HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE LATTER.

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Week In Review

Overview: The Marlins won two of three from both the Dodgers and the Reds for a 4-2 week. They are now 17-9 and sit second in the NL East.
Positives: The team somehow keeps winning despite injuries and a very slow start by Hanley Ramirez. Speaking of Hanley, there were signs this week he's finally feeling comfortable at the plate. The starting pitching has also been pretty solid with Josh Johnson throwing lights out and the rest of the staff keeping the team in ballgames.
Negatives: The two losses this week were both bullpen meltdowns that were excruciating to watch. Especially painfully was Saturday's game in which Edward Mujica single-handedly blew JJ's win (Somehow JJ restrained himself and didn't wreck the clubhouse like I would have). There's also the story of Clay Hensley, who had a shaky outing on Wednesday, but then injured himself falling down some stairs in Cincinnati.
Line of the Week: This is getting repetitive, but honestly I looked for other worthy winners and couldn't come up with anything. Josh Johnson's first six starts:

3-0, 0.88 ERA, 41 IP, 18 H,11 BB, 39 K

Highlight of the Week: Tip of the cap to Omar Infante's clutch game-winning hit on Tuesday, but we'd be pretty lousy if we didn't honor Emilio Bonifacio's(!) physics defying outside-the-park home run today.
Looking Ahead: The Fish head to St. Louis for four games with the Cardinals. Then they come home for a weekend series against the Nationals.

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