Marcell Ozuna is now a Tangerine Troops All-Star

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

He's been on the team for barely a month, but Marcell Ozuna has rewarded us with some dynamite pratfalls. While the rest of us were watching Joey Crawford hijack the Eastern Conference Finals with his "officiating," Ozuna had a run-in with the Tropicana Field bullpen:

(Joey Crawford would have T'd up the mound for that...)

I give it 3.5 out of 4 Dan Ugglas.


Spanning the Internet

Ted appeared on the Pepper Allowed podcast today to talk about the team. Listen on iTunes or Stitcher. Big thanks to Lee and Steve for indulging us!

Not sure which part was my favorite:
  • Ted said of Jeff Loria: "I literally think he's a sociopath."
  • The host's adventurous pronunciation of "eccentricities" when describing MDH
(It's totally the Loria thing, though)

Ted tells the hosts he'd love to grab a beer with Giancarlo Stanton at Scotty's Landing. This is a fine choice, but I'd love to talk astrophysics with Ryan Webb over some cafecito at Versailles (maybe we can even fit in a dominoes game with some abuelos!). But to each their own. 


UPDATE: Marlins still bad at everything

Monday, May 27, 2013

While we've all been watching the latest Heat playoff run and been busy with more pressing items1, the Marlins have been racking up L's at a PHENOMENAL clip. A sweep in Chicago against the White Sox, extending their losing streak to five, has pushed The Fish's W-L record to a putrid 13-37.

This is a mark unseen by any other abysmal Marlins squad. The current crop is on pace to shatter the club record for losses in a season. The expansion squad and the post-first-firesale bunch have nothing on these guys right now. Sure, they can and may very well turn it around, but for now we must revel in this level of suck, unseen to mankind before.

It's actually amazing, in a way, the club can be this atrocious and really be flying under the radar. Outside of a post last week by Jayson Stark and the daily posting of this photo by Dan LeBatard (which really isn't funny anymore), there hasn't been much national talk about how historically bad this team has a chance to be.

At least there are some bright sides? Senor MONSTERDONG may be coming back soon. Jose Fernandez is pretty dynamite. Some of the other young guys have shown flashes. But still....

Carry on everyone. Embrace the summer.

1Dave is wrapping up his MBA and I've recently started a new job and moved places.


Reminder: This is the worst thing that ever happened to Marlins fans

Friday, May 24, 2013

"This" being Miguel Cabrera in a Tigers uniform. Remember when the Marlins had Cabrera and a non-crappy Hanley Ramirez? 2006 was a crazy year...

Anyway, here's a gif of six Cabrera home run swings this season, via HBT:

Kinda makes you wonder why any team would trade him for some "can't-miss" prospects, doesn't it? [Sobs]


And yet the Marlins have the "worst fanbase in baseball"

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Via Deadspin:

When security asked him to put it away he demanded that he had a Constitutional right to free speech that protected him. After arguing for a full inning with security, they relented.


Sr. #Monsterdong Takes BP

And just like that, our unofficial vow of silence (did we not tell you about that? Oops...) is broken:
"He looked good," [manager Mike] Redmond said, "like he was feeling all right. I didn’t ask him afterwards; I'm just going off the results. He was hitting them out. It's another encouraging sign that he's a little closer to being back on the field."
It's been nice to see Marcell Ozuna shine in his place (.303/.337/.443 in 84 plate appearances), but he is no Giancarlo Stanton. (Plus there is his unsustainable .383 BABIP and 4.8% walk rate, but we'll focus on Ozuna's positives for now). If we're lucky Stanton's return is near, and Ozuna's emergence encourages Redmond to bench Juan Pierre (who has stolen bases but has an abysmal .288 OBP). Fun fact: JP's WAR is exactly 0.0 right now - he has become a quad-A replacement level player. This isn't surprising, but still sad, to me at least.


What Does Larry Beinfest Have in Common With Us?

Thursday, May 9, 2013

"I don't even know who is here anymore," Beinfest said after the Marlins scored just one run during a three-game sweep this week by the Padres in San Diego. "It's been a bad run. It kind of started first day of spring training when [catcher Jeff] Mathis broke his collarbone and it hasn't really stopped since. It's been anything from hamstrings to whatever freak injuries – getting slid into. It’s been a little bit of everything."


Reminder: No One Attends Marlins Games

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Stop me if you've heard this one before. The Marlins will close off the upper deck during weekday home games:
Facing some of the worst attendance figures in MLB, the Marlins have decided to close off the upper bowl during weekday series starting next week. The 37,442 capacity of Marlins Park will shrink to around 27,000.

Team Sr. Vice President PJ Loyello told the Miami Herald Tuesday that the move "will give an overall better fan experience." The move also saves the team money on game operations, since fewer concession stands, ushers, and janitorial staff will be needed if nearly half the stadium is off limits to fans.
Well, some of us probably like having a full section of the upper bowl to themselves during games. But it's a relative no-brainer for the team. Closing off the upper bowl means they don't need to pay for the staff needed to serve and maintain those sections, and people with tickets for the upper bowl will just get moved to better seats at no extra charge. Still, it's just another reminder that the fancy new stadium in Little Havana has done nothing to solve the Marlins' attendance woes.


Marcell Ozuna Errs Efficiently

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Marcell Ozuna pulled off the rare Huge Mistake That Costs His Team Nothing Tuesday night, completely losing sight of a fly ball that never returned to the park:

Ozuna was so believable that the broadcasters thought Venable's home run would fall for an out. He's damn near Loria-like in his ability to convince people that a disaster is not about to follow.


Week In Review

Monday, May 6, 2013

Overview: The Fish had a nice week (stellar, by their standards). They won their first series of the year, taking two of three from the Mets. Then in Philadelphia the team rebounded after dropping the first two to earn a four game split.
Positives: The club finally has a winning streak (three is about all we can hope for). Four wins in a week doubles their previous high mark. All in all the team is starting to play better.
Negatives: Stanton hits the DL. The main reason for watching Fish games is going to be sidelined for a while.
Lines of the Week: Dual honors this week, because they're both very worthy (and we did leave the award vacant in the past). Jose Fernandez threw a gem on Saturday night (and the pen didn't blow it) to finally get his first win. On Sunday, Adeinny Hechavarria was inches away from hitting two grands slams in a blowout win over the Phillies.

Fernandez: W, 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 1 BB, 9 K, .423 WPA
Hechavarria: 2-4, 1 BB, 1 3B, 1 H, 7 RBI, .220 WPA

Highlight of the Week: The club had an array of nice defensive plays and a couple of walkoff wins, but watch Jose Fernandez go to work on the Phils.
Looking Ahead: The club heads out west for three in San Diego then three in Los Angeles to face the Dodgers.


Stanton prognosis goes from bad to worse

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

And our #Monsterdong malaise has gone into plaid...

Giancarlo Stanton was diagnosed with a grade 2 hamstring strain, so he is expected to miss at least a month. Gonna be hard to pay attention to any game in which Jose Fernandez isn't pitching the way things are going now.


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