MDH Guide to the 2011 Playoffs

Another season in the books for the Fish, but now it's time for the MLB playoffs. Last year we got lucky. Division rival Philadelphia got picked off in the NLCS. The Yankees likewise in the ALCS. It left us with a perfectly fine Rangers vs Giants World Series.

Don't Root For

• New York Yankees - Most hated team in baseball. They also come invade our fair city and talk about how great New York is.
• Philadelphia Phillies - No explanation needed.

Perhaps Root For

• Arizona Diamondbacks - Kind of like the Marlins. A young team with low payroll that no one really pays attention to. 
• Milwaukee Brewers - Great team name. We like Ryan Braun, but they also have Nyjer Morgan, which is no good.
• St. Louis Cardinals - I don't really care for them, but they could perhaps beat Philly, and we should hope for that.
• Tampa Bay Rays - Our Florida brothers. They could pull the AL East double and knock out the Yankees too.
• Texas Rangers - It'd be nice to see them bounce back after last year's disappointing World Series.

We'll be Rooting For

• Detroit Tigers - As you'll see below, they have the best former Marlins quotient.

Children of the Marlins Diaspora in the 2011 Playoffs
New York Yankees: Joe Girardi (Mgr), AJ Burnett (P)
Detroit Tigers: Jim Leyland (Mgr), Miguel Cabrera (3B), Brad Penny (P)
Texas Rangers: Darren Oliver (P)
Tampa Bay Rays: none
Arizona Diamondbacks: none
Milwaukee Brewers: none
Philadelphia Phillies: Ross Gload
St. Louis Cardinals: Arthur Rhodes (P)

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Two NBC stories to share with you. The first is a general opinion piece on Ozzie Guillen, and expands on my thoughts from this MDH post from Monday night.

Anyone hoping new Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen will magically transform the team from an underperforming middle-tier baseball team into a playoff contender should probably re-examine their expectations.

The Marlins are finishing off a disappointing 2011 campaign, and coaching has been the least of their problems this summer.

Injuries to star players, underperforming pitchers, and just plain bad luck have plagued the Marlins.

Ozzie Guillen can't change any of those.

On a more fun note, the second is my top ten Marlins moments in the Stadium formerly known as Joe Robbie. Just missing the cut was the monsterest of #Monsterdongs, which I will embed below.

Now I must change my pants.

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2011 End of Season Awards

The season is just about in the books. What better time than the last day of the season to hand out the prestigious Marlins Diehards end of season awards?

Dontrelle Willis Out of Nowhere Award, given to the player who was completely off the radar in Spring Training that made a big impact on the team

Greg Dobbs was a non-roster invitee who only had a small chance of surviving as a left-handed bat off the bench. A strong spring won him a roster spot. Injuries early in the season meant he started many games and came through better than anyone could have expected. He finishes the season with over 400 plate appearances and though no stat jumps out as extraordinary, he was hitting over .300 for a fair share of the season and deserves plaudits for consistent production and helping keep the team afloat in April and May. I still don't believe he did it.

Jorge Julio Award, given to the new addition to team who completely flopped

Dave and I racked our brains but ultimately decided nobody deserves the awful comparison to Jorge Julio this year, although in the first few months of the season it was a tight three horse race. John Buck came the closest, but he did hit 16 home runs and his numbers overall were decent. He's overpaid, but no Julio. By May we were all counting the days until we could release Omar Infante, but he rebounded very well and has earned a new two-year contract. Javier Vazquez was looking like the second coming of the 2005 Al Leiter, but he too reversed course in impressive fashion.

Darren Daulton Deadline Dandy, given to the best midseason acquisition

For the second consecutive year, this award remains vacant as the team did no business at the trading deadine. In typical Fish fashion, several players were added via the waiver-wire, but none of them performed strongly enough to earn this honor.

Next Member of the Marlins Diaspora: self explanatory

Leo Nunez Juan Carlos Oviedo, at least we hope, will be long gone. Even before his recent identity/visa issues, it seemed unlikely the team would bring back a middling closer for a price exceeding $5 million. Even more, recent reports suggest the Marlins very well would have traded him during the season had they not known about his ongoing problem. It will be interesting to see if they decide to tender him or not and try to trade him. I'd imagine they'd just cut their losses and non-tender him.

Bret Barberie Bizarre Boo-Boo: given to the player with the weirdest injury of the season, named after the time former Marlin Bret Barberie missed a game due to a case of habanero juice in the eye:

Loafing and a lack of effort has always been a criticism of Hanley Ramirez, especially in the last 18 months. But what happens when you keep asking a guy to play harder and hustle? He gets hurt. This shoulder injury occured on August 2nd and caused Hanley to miss the rest of the year. Good going Marlins fans!

And now, the generic awards...

Most Valuable Player

The man, the myth, the legend, Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton. Forget the numbers, simply put, Mr. Monsterdong was one of the few small reasons myself and other fans continued tuning into games after June. Now onto the numbers. The 22 year old slugger crushed 34 home runs and is third in all of MLB in isolated power behind only Jose Bautista and Curtis Granderson. His 4.5 WAR led the team by some margin.

Best Pitcher

Despite winning just eight games, Anibal Sanchez finishes the year with a solid 3.67 ERA and led Marlins pitchers with a 3.7 WAR. It was a down year for hurlers on the club (looking at you Ricky Nolasco) but after Josh Johnson went down at least Anibal stepped his game up and acted like an ace. The rest of the team even treated him like one deciding to give him poor run support and have the blowpen blow a bunch of his games. Nonetheless, it looks like his injury issues are behind him and he's a very solid big-leaguer.

Biggest Surprise

Before the season, I had no idea what a Steve Cishek was. He arrived to the team in late May and turns out he's a flame-throwing reliever who's now a candidate to be the closer in 2012. He made 44 appearances this year and posted a 2.67 ERA. His good K-rate (basically one per inning) may give him the nod to in fact be the closer. If that's the case I just hope he learns how to throw the ball to first base properly, perhaps have Gaby Sanchez wear a catchers mask.

Biggest Disappointment

Once again coming into the year the Marlins starting pitching staff appeared as a strength that some writers were even calling underrated. They fell very short of expectations. The early injury to J.J., which turned into a lost season was devastating. As mentioned above, Anibal did his part, but it wasn't enough to mask the misfortunes of the others. Ricky Nolasco was up and down, mainly the latter. Javier Vazquez rebounded and had a great second half, but his first half was abysmal. And of course, everyone's favorite Chris Volstad perpetually had baserunners circling around him.

Most Improved

We'd be remiss if we didn't acknowledge Emilio Bonifacio in some way. The perennial punching bag of MDH turned it around and had a great 2011. He posted a 3.3 WAR, second amongst Marlins position players. Despite our pleas, the club made him an everyday player and he made over 600 plate appearances. He responded by posting a career-best .367 on base percentage and even managed to hit five home runs (all out of the park!).

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Infante Returns

Via MLB.com, the Marlins and Omar Infante have agreed to a two-year contract extension worth $8 million.

Re-signing Infante is nothing to get terribly excited about, but the Marlins have bigger needs than second base this offseason, so retaining Infante for $8 million over two years is a pretty sensible deal. If he puts up 2.5 WAR for two more years, that's $1.6 million/WAR, which is $0.5 million/WAR cheaper than John Buck.

UPDATE: Marlin Maniac has run the numbers, and it turns out the Marlins might actually be underpaying Infante. Well played, front office, well played.

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It's Ozzie

He won't be wearing this uniform, but you get the idea...

Ozzie Guillen is your new Marlins manager. And all it will cost the team is a pair of minor leaguers.

The Chicago Sun-Times reported Monday night the White Sox released Guillen Monday afternoon after he met with team owner Jerry Reinsdorf for an emotional goodbye.

Guillen told his players that Monday night's White Sox game against Toronto would be his last, and he is expected to fly to Miami Tuesday morning.

In return for declining a team option on Guillen for 2012, the White Sox retained the right to compensation, which the Marlins will send in the form of two minor leaguers.

I'm pretty sure there is no one left in the farm system that is untouchable these days (save maybe for Matt Dominguez), so it's hard to get too upset about trading anything for a manager.

Besides, at least it will keep the Marlins interesting, even if it's the train-wreck kind of interesting.

Jack McKeon had a few nice things to say about Ozzie, but he wasn't about to start pretending that a manager can actually make his players play better. He was asked what he thought Guillen brings to the Marlins, and replied:

You got me. Ozzie ain’t going to bring anything,. The players are going to bring it. Ozzie's a colorful guy. You guys will love him. You’ll have a lot to write about. He's a colorful guy. He knows this game.

What he can bring, it's like anything else. Good managers are (as good as) their good players.

McKeon never fails to say what is on his mind, and if nothing else, Guillen will more than make up for the loss of McKeon in that regard.

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Adios, Trader Jack

Jack McKeon in happier times

To the surprise of just about no one, Jack McKeon announced his retirement this afternoon. Let the Guillen/Valentine/reincarnated spirit of Casey Stengel rumors begin!

Too bad McKeon's second term as manager did not have nearly as many highlights as his first, but he always kept things interesting and rarely bit his tongue. There are only two managers in our pantheon, and Trader Jack is one of them (Earl Weaver is the other, as if you had to even ask). We'll miss him.

Related content: The MDH Short List of New Manager Candidates

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Week in Review: Limping Toward the Finish Line

We can almost go home you guys! Wheeeeee, vacation!!1!1

Overview: The Marlins took two of three from Atlanta then were swept by the Brewers, securing their first last-place finish since 2007.
Positives: None. We're past the point of finding silver linings here.
Negatives: I seem to be the only person on the planet that does not totally hate the Marlins' new logo. The team bid an early adieu to Juan Carlos Oviedo (nee Leo Nunez). Or a two-months-too-late farewell, depending on your perspective. Nonetheless, it is hard not to feel sorry for him. He was caught in a lie he told years ago because he thought it gave him a better shot at becoming a pro baseball player, and that lie only boxed him in more and more as he got older. I hope he can resume his career (with another team, I still don't think he's worth $5 million a year) without too much difficulty, because this seems like a victimless crime from where I stand.
Line of the Week: Javier Vazquez topped the immortal Pat Rapp with his (ongoing) 25-inning scoreless streak on Wednesday:

7 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 6 K, 109 pitches, .385 WPA

Play of the Week: Omar Infante makes Atlanta pay for a two-out error in the bottom of the ninth by knocking a walkoff home run on Monday night:

Looking Ahead: The Fish will host a three-game set against the Nats before packing up for the winter. The team will also interview Bo Porter and Joe Espada for the impending managerial vacancy, but neither seem like likely hires:

Neither man has any experience as a manager in the majors, which is especially curious since team owner Loria said in July the team's next manager "will have to be somebody with experience."

With that in mind, this could be a case of the Marlins interviewing a pair of minority candidates to satisfy Major League Baseball's diversity hiring requirement, so that when the team makes a run at a big name in the offseason it won't face the prospect of a fine from MLB.

Programming note: There will be no Week in Review after the Washington series. Instead, we will begin our roundup of end-of-season material.

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New Hat

via Sun Sentinel

Looks like that hat logo Ted found on a message board was legit. I'm sure seeing it on a hat won't change anyone's mind about it if they don't like it already, but the absence of the "Marlins" wordmark over the logo makes it seem less jarring to me.

That yellow V remains hideous, though. Nonetheless, I guess I'll buy one next season.

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The Leocoaster is actually the Oviedocoaster

Leo Nunez has left the country:

Florida Marlins closer Leo Nunez has been playing under an assumed name, and the issue prompted him to return Thursday to his native Dominican Republic, two people familiar with his immigration status said.

Weeeeeeeird. Contrary to initial reports, his real name is not Leo Costa.

Both people said the Marlins have been aware of the issue for several months. They spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because Dominican and team officials haven't made any public comment on the case.

Let's pause for some guest commentary:

Glad we held onto Leo at the deadline.

Back to the story.

One of the people said Nunez's real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo and he's 29, a year older than listed in the team media guide. The Marlins placed Nunez on Major League Baseball's restricted list, and he isn't expected to pitch in the final week of the season.

That is officially the weirdest baseball story I've ever read. That is probably the end of Leo Nunez as a Marlin. It was already unlikely that the Fish would keep him this offseason, when he will get a hefty pay raise thanks to arbitration. Now it's an impossibility, coinciding with a huge drop in his trade value to boot.

Clearly this is why the team did not deal him at the trade deadline. If they knew about the issue, there was no way they could withhold it from any trading partner, and who would trade for a player that could be forced to leave the country at any time?

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Final Off-Day Guide of 2011

TV

8:00 (NBC): The NBC Thursday night lineup is back and it's all new. The Community/Parks and Rec/The Office trio is a must see.

8:00 (ESPN): College football (if you must). It's a snoozefest, though, between NC State and Cincinnati.

10:00 (FX): It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Archer. We love Fat Mac and his Hawaiian shirts.

Book

I just got Drew Magary's The Postmortal. I think you'll like it too.

Culture

None tonight, it's comedy TV night. No substitute is worthy.

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Are the Marlins the Most White Trash Team in Baseball?

Decide for yourself:

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Javier Vazquez is an Asshole

A bit harsh, but very true. The first half of the year, Javy sucked. His first 14 starts were a parade of people circling him around the bases. He posted a lofty 6.85 ERA. So of course after the team's abysmal month of June, where they went from ten games over .500 to ten below, he turns it around! Since that point he is Cy-worthy with a 9-4 record and a 1.84 ERA! Well, at least he can carry this turnaround into next year?

Nope. All reports indicate he will most likely retire at the end of this season. Doh!

All that is bad enough but last night was the final straw. With seven more shutout innings, Javy extended his scoreless innings streak to 25, besting the previous mark for a Marlins starting pitcher (24 2/3), held by none other than Pat Rapp.

Rapp is hero here at Marlins Diehards. He is one of the most Marlins players of all time. Just look at the picture. All teal hat. Generic face. A stereotypical no-name journeyman who patched together a few decent years for the Fish. We love him. And taking away probably his last claim to fame is not cool.

Javy, this aggression will not stand. Unless of course you do decide to come back and win 15+ games in 2012. Then we may forgive you.

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More Logo Fallout

Paul Lukas (aka Uni Watch) confirms the rumor:

At first it wasn't clear whether it was legit or just some Photoshopper's concept, but Uni Watch has confirmed that it is in fact the real deal. This is what the team will be wearing next year when it's rebranded as the Miami Marlins.

David Samson tries to be coy (and fails):

A copy of the logo was leaked on the Internet on Wednesday. Or was it? Samson had no comment on whether the logo that has gained wide attention is the exact logo or not.

"I'm not saying anything was leaked or wasn't leaked," Samson said. "I read about so much stuff on the Internet that it's hard to keep track of it all."

And Zoo With Roy mentions Ted:

(via some guy named Ted)

WAY TO GO SOME GUY NAMED TED!

And from Craig Robinson, the aesthete behind Flip Flop Fly Ball:

Just for the hell of it, I decided to do a quick mock-up of a Miami Marlins jersey. If indeed the leaked logo is the real thing, I really like the big M, don't like the prosaic typeface or the stylised marlin flying off the M. So, really, it's not a mock-up of what this logo could look like if it were used, but I have Photoshop, ten spare minutes, and the desire to fuck around. Were it me, I'd keep the teal as a Marlins colour, and, it would seem, make it look kinda like an upside-down Weezer t-shirt…

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Is This It?

Ted caused a bit of an uproar on Twitter today when issued this tweet:

Ted found it here. Since he issued his tweet, at least one tweet has corroborated the logo (A Bleacher Report writer put forth the same logo with a different color scheme, but that clearly looks photoshopped). Could this be the Marlins new logo? I have no idea, but now we can argue about it regardless! Yay, internet!

No matter what the new logo/uniform ends up looking like, plenty of Marlins fans will hate it, because people hate change. But I actually kind of like it, except for that bit of yellow on the M. The fish and M have a nice art deco look to them (which obviously fits with Miami), and I think adding orange to the color scheme is a good move. The new fish is sleek and minimalist, and I'm generally in favor of that whole aesthetic. It is not for everyone, but since when do the Marlins make decisions with everyone's wants and needs in mind?

SCWS, as usual, has the best take on the situation...

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Miami Marlins: Part Deux

Whatever the new uniforms look like, we'd love to see this old Miami Marlins sleeve patch included somehow.

We're now a little under two months away from the dramatic revealing of the new Miami Marlins logos and uniforms. The angst among the fan base is palpable as most are terrified to see how Team Loria may have ruined the club's look. This is due partly to the pessimistic feelings most have about the ownership group, but also a large number of rumors that have surfaced on Twitter, message boards, etc. Those are always to be taken with a grain of salt, but I thought we should take a closer look at a few of the rumors Dave and I have seen lately, and assess their merits.

Rainbow Colored

This seems to be the one most discussed and it's the one the fans fear the most. It would seem impossible that any team would try and replicate this disaster from Tampa Bay (or even something more subdued like Houston's Tequila Sunrise unis), but could Loria do it? Because of his well-known love of art, it seems entirely possible. Supposedly the colors of the stadium logo (see right) are all involved.

Spare me the "Miami is a city of many vibrant colors. . . blah blah blah." If the team is trying to be progressive and use three, perhaps even more, colors, it will most likely fail and cause an uproar. Fans want their team to have an identity. That means one, maybe two colors that people recognize as the team identity.

Orange-centric

Another concept making the rounds is that the new set is very orange-heavy. It wouldn't be too surprising considering the amount of orange that's been introduced in team marketing materials the last several years. Hell, go to the Marlins' official website right now and tell me the first color you notice.

Not too many teams have orange as a very prominent color. The detractors say we'll look too much like the Giants or the Orioles. I doubt they would opt for a traditional orange though. A softer tone (Creamsicle Bucs? Don't laugh) or a burnt orange look would be pretty unique in baseball. 

Blue and Orange

Another option is a blue and orange set which immediately prompts most fans to shout, "NOOOOO!!! Not like the Mets!" On the surface, I would agree. But again, it doesn't sound like the Marlins will use traditional colors. If they decided on this look, they could use the orange described above, paired with either a soft blue or an oceanic blue-gray. Also, a blue and orange combo would pay homage to the old Miami Marlins (see left), which I think would be pretty cool.

Official Guess

Taking in all of the inside info and trusty anonymous comments on our blog, my official guess would be that new Miami Marlins colors/logos will consist of the following:

• A black base (hat color, trim etc.)
• Some kind of orange as the primary color
• Silver and some sort of blue (seat color) used as accents
• A logo that incorporates all of the above and the other colors in the stadium logo. We'll all hate it.

UPDATE: My checklist was pretty spot-on, including the part where everyone hates the new logo.

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The Most Monster of Dongs

Señor #MONSTERDONG, doing what he does best. Check it out here.

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Penultimate 2011 Week in Review

We're usually tired of baseball by mid-September too, Gaby.

Overview: The Marlins dropped two of three two Atlanta, were swept in a doubleheader by the Phillies, then took two of three in Washington.
Positives: The Marlins didn't lose to Stephen Strasburg (despite only scoring once in six innings against him). Javier Vazquez threw his first shutout in ages Friday. On the same night, he moved to the 29th spot in the all-time strikeouts list and Jack McKeon won his 277th game, the most by any Marlins manager. That's about as much enthusiasm as I can muster right now.
Negatives: McKeon is getting a little testy. First he blasts Ricky Nolasco for his role in Thursday's loss to Atlanta ("That's why you’re not a 20-game winner," he said), then he complains about his hitters' aversion to taking walks. "Our guys are allergic to taking walks," he told the Miami Herald Sunday, adding, "They play by the players' association rules: Thou must swing at 3-1 and 2-0."The former complaint was a little harsh, the latter, pitch perfect. Hanley Ramirez underwent shoulder surgery on Thursday, though the Marlins said they still expect him to be back in time for Opening Day 2012. Mike Cameron was released for being a jerk.
Line of the Week: Vazquez' Friday night performance:

9 IP, 5 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 7 K, 104 pitches, 0.421 WPA

Play of the Week: Edward Mujica pulls off an instant classic bullpen prank on Thursday, locking Jose Ceda in the bathroom in Philadelphia's visiting bullpen:

Looking Ahead: The Fish play three against Atlanta starting Monday, then fly to Milwaukee for a weekend set beginning Friday.

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LoMo Files a Grievance

Logan Morrison has officially filed a grievance against the Marlins for his August demotion to Triple-A New Orleans. From Amy K. Nelson of ESPN.com:

Morrison and his agent, Fred Wray -- along with the players' union -- believed the demotion was a form of discipline without just cause, so they filed the grievance Aug. 25, two days after he was recalled from Triple-A New Orleans.

"I'm doing this because I'm standing up for what's right," Morrison told ESPN.com this week. "If I thought it was because of my performance on the field, then I wouldn't be filing a grievance."

I am not familiar with MLB and the players' union's rules regarding grievances, so I cannot provide more than superficial commentary here. But it seems like the burden of proof will be on Morrison to prove that his demotion was unjust. And while the Marlins' reasoning for the demotion (he was not hitting well) is a tad flimsy, Morrison was hitting .240 at the time.

His slash line in 2011 (.252/.333/.468 at the moment) is down from last season (.283/.390/.447) - though he is slugging a few points higher. His BB% is down to 10.1% from 14.3% while his K% is up to 18.6% from 17.8%. Morrison can blame bad luck for some of the production (his BABIP is down 78 points to .273 from .351 in 2010) - but if the Marlins say they did not like what they were seeing from him at the plate, it would be hard to make a convincing argument otherwise. He certainly is not the first hitter to have been demoted for a .240 average, and he won't be the last, either.

As so often happens, the Marlins will probably lose this case in the proverbial court of public opinion, but that is not where this grievance will be heard, so I bet they end up in the clear.

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Deadspin just found out the Marlins will become the Miami Marlins in 2012

Meet The Miami Marlins (New Look! Same Slightly-Below-.500 Taste!)

It only took them ~2 years to do so. And Jack Dickey mentions the Heat in the snippet, because, well, I guess that's required at Deadspin these days? I don't know, but they'll return to ignoring the team on Thursday, which is fine with me.

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Dave Sends the Marlins to Detention

Just like last year, the fine folks at Big League Stew are running a series for the end of the season to encapsulate the 2011 campaigns of each MLB squad. Also like last year, Dave has penned the Marlins piece. This year's theme is Detention Lecture. So go right ahead and read Dave's monologue to this year's Fish and find out what potential roster move would make Dave quit baseball.

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Week In Review

Overview: The Marlins lost two of three to the Mets, then swept the Pirates.
Positives: A winning week? We'll take it. The bats exploded Friday night. Also nice to finally win in Pittsburgh.
Negatives: Mike Stanton and Logan Morrison both sustained injuries and will miss a bit of time. There is also more speculation the Marlins will court Ozzie Guillen in the offseason, and may even trade a player for the manager. #SMH
Line of the Week: Lord knows how long it's been since we've seen a dominant pitching performance. Anibal Sanchez delivered on Saturday

W, CG, 9 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 11K, 3 BB

Highlight of the Week: Gotta love homers that make their way to some sort of body of water. LoMo deposited one in the Allegheny on Friday.
Looking Ahead: The Fish have a funky road trip with three in Atlanta, followed by a double header in Philly, then a weekend series with the Nationals.

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The titans of Marlins history, in one place

The Marlins announced plans to leave Sun Life Stadium with a bang, scheduling an on-field celebratory ceremony for their final home game on September 28. You better sit down before reading this list of attendees, it's a doozy:

Scheduled attendees include Kurt Abbott, Antonio Alfonseca, Moises Alou, Alex Arias, Bruce Aven, Rickey Bones, Bobby Bonilla, Kevin Brown, Luis Castillo, Greg Colbrunn, Jeff Conine, Reid Cornelius, Andre Dawson, Alex Fernandez, Cliff Floyd, Chris Hammond, Lenny Harris, Bryan Harvey, Livan Hernandez, Charlie Hough, Charles Johnson, Josh Johnson, Rene Lachemann, Al Leiter, Mike Lowell, Josias Manzanillo, Jack McKeon, Robb Nen, Vladimir Nunez, Tony Perez, Mike Piazza, Scott Pose, Hanley Ramirez, Pat Rapp, Ivan Rodriguez, Cookie Rojas, Benito Santiago, Gary Sheffield, Julian Tavarez, Tony Taylor, Michael Tejera and Preston Wilson.

Whoa whoa whoa, Greg Colbrunn, Scott Pose AND Pat Rapp, all in one place? What a get for the Marlins PR team!

In all seriousness, nice touch inviting Piazza, who is the embodiment of the team's spendthrift ways (involved in not one but two salary-dumping trades in the same week!).

And yes, Ted and I are thrilled that our old friend Antonio Alfonseca will be there. We're only disappointed that Jorge Julio and Kevin Gregg could not join him and complete the shaky reliever trifecta.

The team will open the 2012 season in its as-yet unnamed new ballpark on the former site of the Orange Bowl in Little Havana.

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Update on Hanleyless Marlins

Not pictured: Dressed as Emilio Bonifacio, J. Walter Weatherman saying, "And that's what happens when you hustle."

Last time: "The Marlins are 50-39 in games Ramirez has started and an abysmal 9-33 when his name has not appeared on the lineup card."

With Hanley Ramirez starting, the Marlins remain 50-39 in 2011.

Otherwise, they are now 13-39 with tonight's loss to the Mets in extra innings.

Ramirez will undergo shoulder surgery September 15, under the knife of renowned surgeon Dr. James Andrews. "[Player X] to see Dr. James Andrews" are normally the seven scariest words in baseball, but it was pretty much assumed Ramirez would see surgery. So the story is a lot less shocking than usual. And the Marlins are so out of any race that the surgery pretty much doesn't spoil anything! Unless Logan Morrison says something about it, then we can talk about that for a day...

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What an eventful night

I know what you're thinking, and no, the cat does not count as nine fans in attendance.

Also, that was a terrible joke. You're better than that.

UPDATE: We have video.

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WELL THEN

I wonder if he ever accidentally calls Tommy Hanson Gary Carter...

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Tall-Man Syndrome?

What's to blame for Josh Johnson's injury troubles? His height, apparently:

Johnson said a physical therapist he has worked with offered him the "Tall Man's Syndrome" diagnosis, which affects tall athletes who are constantly "bending over and your shoulder is not in a good place.

"You start throwing, you start leaning over when you're throwing. It snowballs and you're shoulder is not in the correct place."

Johnson said he has been working on maintaining a proper posture to relieve pressure on his scapula and wearing a special form-fitting shirt. He said he walked in the clubhouse last week and was told by teammates that he looked taller.

I call bullshit. My posture is terrible, and I'm 5'10". It has nothing to do with height, and everything to do with being a man.

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Walkoff!

Marlins beat the Phillies 5-4, in 14 innings.

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Important Injury News

The Marlins made it official: Josh Johnson will miss the rest of the season. Thank god they cleared that one up, I was starting to get worried.

As for Hanley Ramirez, he's a firm maybe, says Larry Beinfest:

"We just need to get him healthy now. So to speculate whether he will return or not may be a little premature but I think we'll have a pretty good idea this weekend. But he has interrupted his rehab once again and we're going to have to get this thing fixed one way or another."

OMINOUS. What could he be referring to? A shoulder transplant? Perhaps we could just give him Randy Choate's non-throwing shoulder. He doesn't need it, right?

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