Giancarlo Stanton Came to Fornicate

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Marlins took an eight-game losing streak into Tuesdsay night's game against the Nationals, and with Stephen Strasburg taking the hill against the Marlins it looked like that 8 could turn into a 9 by night's end.

Then Sr. #Monsterdong took the bull by the horns and unleashed some hot sex on Marlins Park:

It was Stanton's fifth home run of the season, going 457 feet to one of the deepest parts of Marlins Park. According to ESPN Stats & Info, Stanton has 3 of the 4 longest home runs of the young season. It was also the longest home run Strasburg has given up.

Stanton is off to a very hot start (5 HR, 21 RBI, .635 slugging%), and it is as if he knows 2014 is the year he will either secure a long-term contract offer from the Marlins or be traded to the highest bidder. Stanton is letting everyone in baseball know just how valuable he is.

Honorable mention goes to Tom Koehler, who stranded one hit and five walks over seven scoreless innings. His inside pitch to Ian Desmond in the fourth inning very nearly started something, as Desmond took offense and precipitated a little argument with Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Sadly, it turned out to be one of those benches-emptying stand-around affairs

Jose Fernandez will take the hill tonight as the Marlins attempt a series win.


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